You know you've been in Baghdad too long if:

(This dates back to August 2004, but a lot of it is still relevant.)

GENERAL

• You start to think "it's not so bad here"
• You say "this place sort of grows on you"
• You say "it's not the humidity, it's the heat" (for Houston residents only)
• You say, "it feels cooler today" and find out that the temperature is 105
• The term "trailer trash" is a term of endearment
• You think "DVD Mista" is a friendly greeting
• You call your tent (trailer if you're lucky) 'home'
• A "weekend" lasts from 0730 to 1200 on Friday
• You get excited at the idea of ICE

ARMAMENTS

• You don't jump when a door slams or someone drops something
• You aren't alarmed when every second person you see has a gun...or two...or three
• You kick the M-16 on the floor aside without a second thought when you sit down to eat in the Dining Facility.
• A Gloc or 9 mm on a lady's hip is considered sexy
• Mortars and rockets sounds are "okay" compared to Vehicle bombs (IED's)
• You can measure distances based on explosion sounds
• "Scoring" means you acquired a new weapon

TRAVEL

• You go to Fallujah and Mosul for R&R
• You are soothed by the sounds of helicopters flying six feet over your trailer
• You automatically get down on your hands and knees in the dirt to inspect the underside of your car, even when you are wearing a suit or skirt
• Bullet holes in cars are no longer alarming
• Car selections consist of "hard" or "soft", not Cadillac or Mercedes
• Road trips consist of 6 vehicles and large caliber weapons
• Driving on the sidewalk is normal
• Driving on the wrong side of a divided four lane street is normal
• Driving 60 mph through a bustling street market is considered prudent
• Hit-and-run fender benders are treated as mere warnings
• Riding in a hot Humvee is preferred to an air-conditioned soft car
• You get upset that you don't get C-130 Frequent Flyer Miles
• Your carry-on luggage includes a flack jacket and helmet

HYGIENE

• You enjoy waiting 45 minutes for the toilets to refill
• You start believing that Deodorant should be a personal choice
• KBR buzz cuts begin to look stylish

SURROUNDINGS

• "Texas Barriers" are something other than a device to keep Texans out
• "Jersey Barriers" are something other than fences to keep Holsteins away from Jerseys
• You begin to believe that project construction being blown up only twice a week is progress
• You get excited with the presence of clouds
• You know ten times as many South Africans as you've ever known before
• The security guards are Ghurka or South African and you know them
• Afrikaans at the pool is normal

DINING

• You look forward to Mohammad's Mango ice cream as the treat for the day
• Powdered eggs taste ok
• You consider plastic ware the Palace China
• You can distinguish inherent qualities of various plastic utensils
• The quality of the plastics utensils becomes a hot dinner topic
• Having to separate plastic plates causes you undue stress
• Lettuce for your salad becomes a luxury
• Scamming a 3rd can of soda makes you feel like you got even with someone
• You are putting on weight because the Saddam's Revenge Diet no longer works
• Going to another mess hall is an adventure

FASHION

• You think desert combat boots look great with a dark blue suit or shorts
• Sand between your thong sandals actually feels good
• The color white is no longer an option
• Speedos for security guards seem right
• You can recognize 12 different camouflage patterns
• You've given up on shoe polish

LIVING CONDITIONS

• You think the bullet holes in the roof of your trailer is just another form of ventilation
• You get upset because the post office won't ship your looted artifacts
• You haven't had water from anything other than a bottle for months on end
• You consider broken sandbags just a new beach expansion
• The idea of a double wide is only for the fortunate
• Forgetting your badge makes you feel naked...but pants are optional
• A bootleg of the new stateside release is not available at the PX 2 days later
• "Only one rocket has hit the Palace" is excellent news
• Cardboard boxes have become substantial pieces of furniture

COMMUNICATION

• Stars & Stripes seems to be a liberal newspaper
• Acronyms become the acceptable language
• It feels normal to have to run outside to make a cell phone call
• You call your coworkers on a cell phone as soon as new T-shirt patterns arrive at the PX
• "Can you hear me" takes up 50% of your cellular telephone conversations
• You realize it is Saturday or Sunday because no one from DC phones